Sunday, November 16, 2008

Progress...of a sort

The roller-coaster ride of Election 2008 is finally over. Like millions of other people ready for a change in our country, our family became very involved and wrapped up in the excitement over Barack Obama.
In the heels of that excitement was the passing of Prop 8 in California, which of course has the reputation of being "progressive" and we seriously thought that it would fail.
It did not, and California joins the other 30-odd states in the US that have now written into their Constitutions bans on gay marriage.
Writing discrimination into Constitutions. Making it illegal for gay people to foster, adopt, visit their partner in the hospital. What's wrong with these people? Why is my family so scary?
My family. Started in high school when I spotted that pretty girl through the art room window.
Not really a pursuit to be honest, more of a friendship turned to relationship, morphed into parenthood and continued from the late 70's through today.
A regular life. Soccer moms, bills to pay. Work to do. Church, Sunday school. Charity work that we believe in strongly. A child that said last week that if giving her life peace could happen in the world, she'd do it. An amazing, bright and happy (and straight! take that, naysayers!) child, raised by two Moms. Pets, a house, a life pretty much like everyone else's life. Except we can't marry.
If I kick the bucket tomorrow, my Social Security evaporates instead of going to help raise the child I helped plan for..the child that I WANT to provide for in the event of my departure from this life.
It's not about anything more than that for me. If we haven't been "Married" for all of these years I don't know what to call it. Partner doesn't seem quite right when two people have made the kind of commitment that we have, endured and changed with each other and supported each other. I see straight counterparts give it up after a few years and wonder. I hear that certain churches, people that have been discriminated against in their own lives, have helped fund Prop 8 and I simply can't fathom why.
Is it because they are now on the "inside" and need inherently to keep someone else out, subconsciously thinking that if everyone is included that they somehow lose their position?
Isn't there room for everyone?
That's how I always thought. I know for a fact that a good portion of the young, white, idealistic nerdy types that went to the south during the Civil Rights era were GAY.
There because they believed that discrimination against one group equals discrimination against EVERYONE that is different.
I don't like being on the outside. It hurts to be told your relationship is wrong. It's sad to think that we can elect a black President and still believe that discrimination is ok.
Back to baby steps, only I think this one may have been backward, for my little family at least.


sheila said...

Great post! As always, well spoken. I'm hoping things get better and things start changing. I'd like to teach the world to

tarajii said...

Believe me, as an African American (whatever that is) I know the pain of discrimination. I can only say that you have to keep fighting the good fight. It is a slow climb but you cannot give up the fight and you cannot accept a set-back as a defeat. My mother is 86 years old and there was a time that she could not be treated at the Cleveland Clinic! We were all herded to Metro and treated in the basement. So it has been a long hard climb. Remember the constitution once said that we were 3/5ths human and were considered chattle. When Lincoln freed the slaves, we did not get our 40 arces and a mule but the plantation owners were paid $300.00for each slave they released. This was paid by the U.S. government. We are still here so there is still hope for you. Don't give up the war because you lost one battle!
Be well